1. Thou shalt not have any other Social Networks ahead of me. Don’t even mention the F bomb.
2. Thou shalt not make idols of the Twitter logo. Take the piss, sure, just no idolatry, mmmkay?
3. Thou shalt not take the name of Jack, Biz and Evan, your Co-Founders, in vain. Everyone and every other being is free game.
4. Remember #followfriday, to keep it holy. We are not responsible for your recommendations and the quality of tweets.
5. Honour your father and mother. Feel free to judge other people’s mothers and fathers though.
6. Thou shalt not commit murder. Well quite. This one’s a good ‘un yo.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery. You prolly will and just remember it’s a social networking site on the interwebs where the evidence is always against you.
8. Thou shalt not steal… another person’s tweet. Or quote others incessantly. Or claim you said it.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbour. Make all kinds of accusations on threadbare facts, and anonymous trolling are completely acceptable though.
10. Thou shalt not covet… another person’s popularity or ability to garner a huge number of retweets. It’s just some people are better than you.