Lessons in personal resilience

Life has thrown some stuff my way in recent weeks, and it’s meant I’ve had to really look at my own practice when it comes to my personal resilience. I need to keep resilient and positive for those around me, ensure I have a fair handle on the reality of stuff, and that I’m being aware of others needs and supportive where I can be.

In no particular order, here’s how I’m trying to maintain my personal resilience:

  • I’m audio journalling far more than I have done previously. I’m checking in with myself every other day or so. Asking myself questions like: What is today’s situation? How is it different from yesterday? What happens next? How am I being affected? What does that mean for me? What is different about my own behaviour? Is anything happening of concern? What patterns of thought / emotion / action are happening I need to be watchful of?
  • Talking regularly with friends and family. Different people ask different questions. Different people need different answers. Some I trust more and can talk more freely. Others I say what I need and no more. But talking is super helpful. It helps me make sense of what I think is happening and what I think will be happening next.
  • Making sure I’m eating well and sleeping well. Most evenings by 10pm I’m exhausted from the day and sleep easily until 8am the next day. I am getting more than enough sleep! But I know I need it. I’m also really trying not to just eat junk food. It’s easy for me to do, so I’ve been making super conscious choices about what I’m eating. Have discovered I’m a really big fan of salads.
  • Talking to the professionals and trusting their choices. They are experts in what they are doing, and the best I can do is listen and understand. From that I can make as informed a set of decisions as I can.
  • Accepting there are days when I will wain. I have had a few low days, and that’s ok. I don’t force myself to feel positive. I also don’t wallow. I just let that down day happen. The body and mind have their own way of preserving our condition, and it’s important to pay attention.
  • I have massively restricted my social media output. I’m known to be a prolific tweeter, and post across multiple different social media. I know that I will readily throw myself into conversations of all sorts. I know that I will readily burrow down rabbit holes of content and topics of interest. I’m keeping fairly well disciplined about limiting all that. My emotional resilience is significantly lessened by me actively engaging in social media, and it won’t allow me to be well for those around me.

There are some things I haven’t been able to maintain as well as I’d like:

  • Pretty much all gym and physical activity routine has been put on halt. Normal routines are not in play for now. The best I’ve been able to do is pilates at home. I’m keen to restart swimming and the gym, and I’m not trying not to unduly pressure myself into going, nor feeling guilty about not going. This period demands other focus, so that’s what I’m doing.
  • Blogging and podcasting. Both are normally good outlets for me. Pursuant to the above point on limiting how I engage with social media, I miss producing content. It’s such a regular part of my life, that not doing that stuff is noticeable for me.
  • I’ve also pulled back on the different groups and networks I’m connected to. I just don’t have the energy or the attention I could so easily give before. It’ll return once this stuff settles, so I’m giving myself permission to let those things idle along as they best can.

One final note. I am not writing this for sympathy, nor for solutions, nor for any kind of self-aggrandising. I am not seeking anyone’s well-wishes or solidarity. I’m writing this as I think it’s important to have that level of congruence that I write about wellbeing and resilience, and I live it as best I can. The above, I hope, is a personal example.

Published by

Sukh Pabial

I'm an occupational psychologist by profession and am passionate about all things learning and development, creating holistic learning solutions and using positive psychology in the workforce.

One thought on “Lessons in personal resilience”

  1. Good post and a timely reminder that we cannot have it all – we have to choose and focus according to what life throws us and the extent to which we are able to control that. Sounds like you are making thoughtful choices!

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