>What I don’t want to miss

>This post is more personal than others I’ve put previously. Mostly this is due to the impending birth of my third child. We have twin boys who will soon be 3 and are now at the age where they are trying to learn how to be independent. It’s really cool to see them develop. Over the last few weeks I’ve been doing odd bits of DIY and after seeing what I was doing they picked up their own tools (yes, toy tools) and start DIYing too. Then though, they realised that the toy tools don’t do what Dad is doing and need the real tools. Uh oh. Delving deep into the toolbox to find a screwdriver and hammer and do what Dad did.

It’s also very frustrating to see them be so damned independent. They quickly learned that the Iron Man bluray dvd goes into the bluray player and you need a particular remote for that to work. And so they go to it! The dvd is now broken. (“Daddy new? Shop new?”) Or they see that Mum is cooking and she’s stirring with that thing sticking out of that thing. I can do the stirring too cos it seems easy enough. Let me pull this chair close to the cooker and see how it goes. AAgh!!

And then I think about the newborn about to arrive. The baby will be tiny and fragile and delicate. The boys will want to know why there’s another child taking our attention away from them. And the wife’s and my attention will be drawn away because Baby will need caring for. There will be many late night awakenings, lots of nappy changes and for the first 6 months not a lot of interaction. But then Baby will grow like the twins. And the boys will learn to take care of Baby.

And that’s where family life starts to really form and take shape. Sure it takes time and life gets in the way. But that’s what I don’t want to miss.

So my message here is simple. Work is important. You have to bring in the money so you can give your family what they need and what they want. The responsibilities of family life are the most life important. Don’t make excuses for not being with the family. Don’t make excuses for not leaving work on time. Don’t make excuses for not having fun time with the family.

Find that work-life balance. Find that time to have fun with them. Find time to see what new thing they’re trying to do. That’s what I don’t want to miss.

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Sukh Pabial

I'm an occupational psychologist by profession and am passionate about all things learning and development, creating holistic learning solutions and using positive psychology in the workforce.

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